Leaked!! Heyneke's prematch speech!

Having participated in the odd Rugby game over the years I have experienced that many coaches like to address each player in the run on 15 individually and focus on what they need to do as an individual so that the game plan may be implemented successfully and hopefully result in victory. It was an approach I personally enjoyed as a player and it would seem that is one included in the coaching philosophy of the great Blue Oom Heyneke!

Victor Matfield has often spoken openly in the media about the effect Heyneke's speeches would have on the Bulls and has even gone as far as to say that he listens to a recording of certain speeches each day before he gets out of bed to start grooming his magnificent display of facial hair.

It is for this reason that we feel we have to share Heyneke's powerful words with you so that you too might be able to draw on them for inspiration in truly challenging moments (like having to fetch the remote that your digsmate so rudely left on the other couch)

We don't claim to have inside sources in the Bok camp that have made us privy to such confidential information...we merely told Ricardo Laubscher (the current Springbok backline coach) that we would use our connections in the media (non-existent) to ensure he is never again mistaken for Rodger Smith..he was rightly elated..and obliged with a copy of the speeches Heyneke had so maticulously prepared for each player before they take the field at Twickenham tomorrow.

1. Gurthro Steenkamp

Gurthro I want you to remember one thing - When in doubt..think of what Dean Greying would do..and do the complete opposite! That is all.

2. Adriaan Strauss

Adriaan your performances have been nothing short of perfect. Scrumming, throwing and mauling have been as strong as I have seen from any team in years. With you scoring tries it means we can spread the ball to our wings even less. If you you maintain your form in this final match I may just forgive you for leaving the Bulls all those years ago...Maybe...

3. Jannie du Plessis

The good Doctor, this will be your 12th Test and 34th match in all competitions this season.
If you need me to tell you what is required from you at this stage..well then..you'll have a hard time convincing people you didn't receive your Medical degree from Stellenbosch..That should motivate you!

4. Eben Etzebeth

**No Words required**

**Hold his stare for as long as you can. Nod after blinking. Don't Cry**

5. Juandre Kruger

Vic, you and I have been in this position many times in Super Rugby and today is no different. We need you to lead from the front today. The line outs and driving mauls are our most potent attacking weapon so dominance there is crucial. I want you to take most of the ball at 4 but utilise Duane's hight at the back too. Eben is young but powerful so be there to help guide him through the match.

6. Francois Louw

Flo I know we have never spoken, but that was because when I was told that you were from England I presumed you could not understand Afrikaans. Use your knowledge of the conditions to get the upper hand at the break down and try to provide us with quick ball for Ruan to slow down.

7. Willem Alberts

Willem there has been talk that you would like to try create forward momentum by taking the ball flat off Pat. Firstly, I have told you Willem, taking the ball off the Fly half means there is a possibility the ball carrier will beat the defence shift and find themselves in space. What will we do then Willem? Secondly, Eben is the only forward in our team that is allowed to carry the ball!  You must ruck Willem..RUCK!

8. Duane Vermuelen

As I've told you repeatedly I do not expect 8th men to to ruck or tackle. Through out this tour you have been competeing for the ball at rucks, yet your role with Pierre out is to full the hole he leaves in our backline outside the wing. Yes, Pierre is exemplary at avoiding confrontation so I do not expect you to avoid as much contact as he is expertly able to achieve but remember you are not from Pretoria so you are not indispensable .Arno Botha is as good at standing on the wing as he is at holding tackle bags so dont you dare test me again!

9. Ruan Pienaar

Ruan what you lack in tactical awareness and decision making compared to Fourie du Preez, you make up in Eye brows. Your ability to pick out a flat footed forward when Pat has intended on attacking the advantage line has been the key to our game plan so far. Continue what youre doing is all I ask. If Jean or a forward aren't able to receive the ball then kick for JP or Hougie to chase. Have I told you how much I love a good chase? 

10.Pat Lambie

Patrick..you little quaffed hair shit! You know I want my Morne' boo boo to play at 10, but you and your bloody running of the ball for the Saaarks has meant that if I dont pick you the country will hate me more than that guy that looked like an elderly version of E.T. that they had doing this before me!
My lie to the media worked..they think youre allowed to attack..but Patrick, if you don't kick at least 80% of the ball you receive as high and as far as you can I'll have Elton on the field before you're able to say "Clear, for Men." At least his brother plays for the Bulls.. 

11. Francois Hougaard

Hougie, I know you're desperate to play Scrumhalf, but you're well aware that Ruan is better at up and unders than you..and we both know that's how you win matches. As our game plan is for the wings to receive the ball as little as possible, your chasing will need to be of the highest quality today. If you do happen to receive the ball from one of the centers the do not panic. Cut inside and and set up the next ruck for ruan to kick. Then chase...sho I love a good chase.

12. Jean de Villiers (Captain)

My Captain, we have spoken many times this week so there is not a lot to be said. Your roles as a leader and ensuring that those idiots either side of you that I am forced to select do not attack space when it's on offer come very naturally to you. I must ask more of you though..injure the Kearsney prick playing centre for them! I hate that school..none of their players have ever accepted Bulls contracts. Pat has to play which means there's already one too many english speaking Natal private schools boys on the field than I can handle!

13. Juan de Jong

Juan you are starting today because last week you really impressed me and the idea of facing a media conference after bringing Taute back in was just too daunting. We know you can only step off one foot so just make sure when you use it you step into players and not space..we cant have players breaking the line and stretching their defence. Your opposition player Tuiilagi is huge.  I really want you to take notice of his build. Contact him after the game and discuss his weight training programme. Size is what counts Juan...Size.

14. JP Pietersen

Now Jean Paul..we are still not sure who your opposition wing will be as we just haven't had the time between the extra scrumming sessions and kick off run throughs to analyze the opposition players. What we do expect is that he will be smaller than you, so be sure to run at him at all times-don't you dare run at space and make me give you the 'Gio'. One last thing...I have been informed you like to do that tweet her thing..do that after the match...the fans like that.

15. Zane Kirchner

*Lift Afro
*Enter: "Catch and Kick"
*Press the activate key
*Close Afro

Besides being clearly unaware that Victor no longer plays for the Boks, thinking Zane Kirchner is a robot and insulting Pat Lambies hair..I was fairly impressed with Heyneke's motivational words.
Hell, he even wowed by showing a surprising knowledge of Social Media!

Lets hope Heyneke's words fire them up and they pummel the pasty school boys and S.A. exports from the North!

Go Bokke!

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